I feel so fortunate to have spent this week on retreat at Sarum College. I booked two mini-retreats, with a space in between, the Integration through Life Transitions retreat package. We gathered as a group after lunch on Monday, with some trepidation, for the first part ‘Navigating Life Transitions.’ What was about to unfold, who would we be journeying with, how might this work? Revd Canon Dr Nigel Rooms was our retreat leader; he soon put us at ease. We engaged in dwelling in the word, soaking in scriptures, then talking through our observations with a ‘reasonably-friendly looking stranger’ in the room. But strangers soon became friends, as we travelled together.
Nigel introduced us to ‘the rollercoaster of discipleship’, a tried and tested framework for mapping how transitions happen. A colourful map, to help orient ourselves, wherever we found ourselves as we faced our own transitions. (I particularly liked the use of liturgical colours in the map… but I realise that’s perhaps a bit niche!) We faced up to the resistance we experience as we navigate change, the feelings we encounter, the losses and the gains.
Hospitality at Sarum was superb. We were looked after with delicious food at mealtimes, and tasty cake at breaktimes. Gathering together with others in the building at mealtimes is a treat, a melting pot of wonderfully interesting people, from those working at the college, those gathering for all sorts of other courses and meetings, and those just visiting the college. Opportunities for fascinating conversations if you want them.
At the end of the first retreat, some of the group went home, whilst others of us stayed on – with a 24 hour gap before the second mini-retreat started. Time to pray and reflect, to process; I lingered in the library, I crocheted in the common room, but I also took advantage of the college’s proximity to Salisbury. During the afternoon I took myself out and treated myself to chocolate brownie and cocktails! (I’ve never indulged like this on retreat, but it was a rather lovely addition!) I met up with a friend in the evening, and another friend the following morning in the refectory at the Cathedral – for me, welcome re-connection after I have struggled with a long period of unwellness. Nigel also offered time to participants for a 1-1 reflective conversation, which (as an external processor) I found really helpful for grounding what we had worked on in the first retreat.
Then in the afternoon we welcomed new participants to join our group, for the ‘Integration through Mid-Life Transition Retreat’. Continuing to dwell in the word, exploring the richness of the bible text. Then re-visiting the transitions model – with those of us who had travelled the first part of the week, introducing it to those that had joined us. We were all soon at ease with the model. Then we spent time with Jung, exploring our shadow side – assembling our shadow cabinet, being curious to those parts of ourselves we often want to hide. Much to think about overnight.
On the final morning, falling upwards! I quote: “There is a famous Jewish teaching that is often told as a humorous but profound joke about heaven, usually attributed to the Hasidic master Rabbi Zusya of Hanipol. Before he died, Rabbi Zusya said:
“In the world to come, they will not ask me, ‘Why were you not Moses?’ Because I would say, ‘I did not have the leadership skills of Moses.’ And they will not ask me, ‘Why were you not Elijah?’ Because I would say, ‘I did not have the fiery passion of Elijah.’
Instead, they will ask me: ‘Zusya, why were you not Zusya?‘ That is the question that makes me tremble.”
And tremble indeed we did, as we were then asked to reflect on our experience, to look at our journey, and this time to look ahead, looking forward in our transitions… to imagine, what might our integrated selves look like? Time in creative process to draw / colour / paint / doodle, and then time to share, time to notice, to be curious, to honour the images drawn by our fellow travellers.
All of this taking place in the Close at Salisbury, with the magnificent Cathedral next door. Our time together rooted in worship at the Cathedral if we wanted to participate, from morning prayer and Eucharist, with the light gradually growing in intensity through the Amnesty window, to the glorious sounds of Evensong in the afternoon. For me it was a really safe space, held so well, enabling me to process so much, to reflect on my journey, to offer it to God, and to leave, open to all that might follow.
Thank you Sarum.